just got booed by the entire restaurant.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
