Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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