HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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