I accidentally had phone sex last night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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