you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
