i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
