I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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