I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
