She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
