It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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