Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
