addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
