Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
