At least make sure they are 18
Why
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Congratulations! We have a period
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