the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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