did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
