Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
