u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
