Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
