No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
