Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dignity is for republicans.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
