im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
