I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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