We're like a lot better than the average bears
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
