my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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