I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
