why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize