Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
