Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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