So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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