if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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