plz talk dirty to me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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