i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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