Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
