Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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