And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
