she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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