Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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