they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
