vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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