Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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