We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
