if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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