So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
