so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize