Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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