just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
