i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
