Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
