I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
