i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
