I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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