Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sext me about skeletons
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
