Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
