ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize