I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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