I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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