mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
