Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
pop tarts are not kleenex
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm experimenting with sincerity
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
