Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
