What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
