i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
